Four years ago I had a pretty sweet boyfriend. I loved him so much. He was so handsome and kind. I had just gotten back from college and wanted to spend every second with him. I did not really know that in little over a week my boyfriend would become my fiance. I was so young then (lets be honest I am still young) and had no idea what life would be like. It seems like forever ago and just yesterday that Orion and I were making out on my parents couch. Sorry mom!
Life has been hard the past four years and it has been wonderful. Getting married was crazy and magical. I wish I could have slowed down time on our wedding day. I wish I could have spent more time imprinting that day on my soul. I wish I could have loved Orion as much that day as I do today. I wish I could have told myself then, that in four years your life will be completely different than you thought it would be. It is better and more challenging! But most of all I wish that I spent that last four years loving my husband more and not finding faults in him as much as I do. I have to remind myself that this man I married is not perfect and neither am I. I have to remind myself that before I expect perfection from him I should be perfect. Which I clearly am not.
Most of all I am grateful that he puts up with my crazy and loves me even when I don't feel like someone who deserves it. I am grateful that he asked me to be his forever and that he means more today then the day he asked it. I am grateful that we are both too stubborn to give up on our marriage and each other. I am grateful that as we draw closer to each other we also draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Christmas time always reminds me that life is such a gift no matter how hard it gets. We are all truly blessed to have a life to live and love others with.
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