Friday, February 14, 2014

Tender Mercies

My sweet momma passed away almost two weeks ago. It has been a rough two weeks. I miss her so much, but I know that she is in a better place. I know that Heavenly Father welcomed her home. I know that I will see her again someday. It has been a sad time, but it has also been full of tender mercies.

My wedding day 4/9/10. I am not sure why the picture says the date it does.
  • When I got the call that something was wrong I rushed over to my parents place in the middle of the night. I was sobbing and begged the Lord to keep my mom here on this earth. I told Him that I was not ready for her to go. As soon as those words left my mom I had this feeling that it was her time to go and that it was going to be OK. I then prayed for strength.
  • The paramedics and police were so sweat and kind to me as I got to my parents house. They explained to me what happened and asked if they could help me in any way. They wanted to make sure that I was going to be alright. I could never do their job, but I am so grateful for those men who were there that night to help. They do their job with little thanks everyday. They should be thanked more often for what they do.
  • Orion stayed up until I got back home and held me while I cried. He wanted to take away my pain, but did not know how. So he listened and held me until I fell asleep. When Adilyn woke up a few hours later he woke up without complaint.
  • Every time Adilyn has seen me cry she reaches up her sweet little hand to my face and wipes away my tears. She hugs me and gives me a kiss. She does not understand why I am crying, but wants me to feel better. 
  • So many people offered help and support right after they heard what happened. Every time I told someone what happened it felt like I was finding out my mom passed away all over again. Friends came over and talked with me, hugged me, and told me how sorry they were. It was beautiful.
  • After my mom's memorial service three little girls came up to me (with a little help from their wonderful nanny) and told me that they knew how I felt. They had lost their mom they year before. Those sweet little girls lost their mom at such a young age. They told me that they were sorry that I lost my mom and gave me a hug. I asked them if they thought our moms were in Heaven together and they said yes. It broke my heart to know that these sweet little girls had experienced what I was currently experiencing. It also made me so happy to know that they cared enough to share their story with me. 
  • I know that families are forever. I miss my mom so much. I miss being able to call her on my bad days and complain about how Adilyn is driving me crazy. I miss her telling me that it was payback for all the times I did that to her as a child. I miss her calling me everyday to see how I was doing. I miss her laughing at my dumb jokes. She always thought I was the best at everything (even though that is not true). I am going to spend the rest of my life missing her, but knowing that we will be together again.

  • I was talking to a friend about my momma passing and she made a great comment. "I bet your mom is up in Heaven meeting her future grandchildren". I hope she has met them already. I know that she wanted to be a grandmother for so long. As soon as I got married she started asking me for a grand baby. I am so grateful I got to give her Adilyn before she died. I know that her "little monkey" was her pride and joy. 
  • There have been so many things that happened that have made this loss a little easier. Our earthly loss is a Heavenly gain. Heaven sure did gain a great woman. I love you momma. Keep my future kids in line will you? 


  1. Kayde this is so beautiful!!! I only met your mom once but I remember how loving she was! You can still have all those conversations with her and you know she will be with you always and everywhere. Love you kayde!!! :-)

  2. Ugh. Kraff, you are amazing and I love you guys so much. Mom was indeed a testament to the miracles that can happen after tragedies. She was a true phoenix that rose from the ashes and gave amazing light to everyone that she was able to shine on. We were truly blessed to never be taught to hate anyone in our lives. She was a dork but she was our dork. She is loved and she is with us. I love you so much sis.

  3. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing these tender thoughts. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.